Leaning into destiny

Photo credit: Anne Haarmark Møllmann, 2021

What would you do if you knew you had only six months left to live?

This is such a luxury question that it feels almost heretical to pose it. So many of us don’t know that we have even six months. Some can say with certainty that it will be much (much) less, what with war, climate disaster, starvation, and illness. Sometimes it is hard to think clearly about the future or our role in it when everything is burning. I watch this weight bear down on my adult child and her generation and my heart too is heavy from the toll.

And yet. I find this question and the answers it elicits enlightening. Between my spouse and child, we have a practice to message our group chat as the last thing we do before shutting down the phone for a flight: I love you both so much, take good care of each other. If I knew I had only six months to live, I’d tell my beloveds just how beloved they are. And so I do. Repeatedly and ad nauseam.

But there is a larger picture here. About the purpose of life, generally, and the purpose of each of our lives, specifically. Why are we even here? And what can we do to fulfill that destiny?

I am deliberately being grandiose. Humans have an outsized impact on the earth’s trajectory. With our imagination and opposable thumbs, we have forever altered this planet. I make no value judgements about this fact: it is an uncontested and observable truth.

I do have strong feelings about what we do at this point in time, and how we engage with our considerable power.

I believe our lives have two purposes: to love and to be of use. I believe we each get to determine how best to do that; that there are many ways to get this right. I also believe, however, that there are a couple of ways that are manifestly wrong: leaning into greed, othering, and violence. Reaching for hatred when empathy and curiosity serve better and more.

I sit with this question often. How can I manifest love and be of use? It is often hard and constantly frustrating. But it is never impossible and always illuminating.

How do you believe you can best love and be of use?